Most teens have heard their parents or grandparents say they are glad they didn’t have social media when they were kids. They seem to think growing up, especially getting through the teen years, was easier when the only way to talk to someone was to catch them at home and call on the telephone, see them in school, or drive to their house. But is that true? We know teens do use social media now more than ever; according to Common Sense Media, “38 percent of teens today say they use social media multiple times an hour, including 16 percent who say they use it ‘almost constantly.’ “ CSM). But how does social media use affect teen friendships and romantic relationships, if at all?  Each of us knows how we feel and our own experiences, but what can a close look at social media show? 

According to the Pew Research Center (PRC), almost 64% percent of teens aged from 13-17 have made a new friend on social media. Lots of teens including myself feel like social media connects them to the world and helps them feel less alone, over 83 percent of teens according to the PRC, and many see social media as a way to get to know their current friends even better by allowing them to spend more time talking and sharing. It also lets teens meet potential romantic partners beyond those just at their own schools, through friends of friends. It’s a safe way to talk with someone to see if you want to actually go out.

Despite the benefits, there are some downsides, including in the romance department. Sometimes things you see make you worry or feel jealous that your new potential partner may like someone else and, according to the PRC, “69% of teen social media users with dating experience agree that too many people can see what’s happening in their relationship on social media.”  And even though the Pew study found that the majority of teenagers don’t think it’s 

okay to break up with someone on social media or in a text, a large percentage have been broken up with that way or have themselves ended relationships with their mobile phone or laptop rather than in person.

Other negatives can include safety and confidence problems. 88% of teen social media users believe people share too much information about themselves. In some cases this can be dangerous and lead to hacking or stalking. Lots of young impressionable people can feel insecure about what they see on social media. Lots of things can be hidden and edited. Social media can be the biggest reason for insecurities in young people. It is also very much like an addiction for some kids. This causes them to be engulfed in and have a hard time getting away from it. Teens who should be most careful about using too much social media are those considered to have “low social emotional well-being” because they often feel worse when on social media, according to a Common Sense Media survey of teenagers.“ So if you have a history of low self-confidence, high anxiety, or depression, try to limit your use of social media.

It’s good to know, though, that most teens don’t have any huge problems from using social media. In fact, right now we are lucky to have it as even our parents might admit. In the age of COVID – 19, social media is being used more than ever before: “The Harris Poll conducted between late March and early May, found that between 46% and 51% of US users were using social media more since the outbreak began.” We are now using these platforms from everything like school and online classes to doctors appointments. This drastic change in life has caused a lot of people to develop mental problems and lack of motivation but without social media to stay connected to family and friends, those things would likely be worse. As my mom said, if Covid had happened in the 1980s when she was in high school, she wouldn’t be able to actually see her friends unless they met in a parking lot and talked from a car whereas I am able to look at friends daily online and even play video games with them remotely. 

So is it harder being social as a teenager “these days”? Not really. The same problems with bullying, dating, and friends have always been around and will always exist, but we have more ways to spend time with the people we like and usually to feel less alone, even during a pandemic.